Kill Raiden
by The Bigger Boss
Summary: My Kill Raiden reloaded with all Raidens spelled right


I don't own Metal Gear or any of the chracters, I just own me! 

Kill Raiden VOL. I

Snake and I were Just bullshiting in our favorite bar drinking shots of JD and smoking cigs when he brought up the name of the person I hate the most Raiden.

Snake: 10 of Son of Liberty WTF.

Me: Yeah that pissed me off, what did Hideo tell you about that?

Snake: He wanted a more caring character, so you could feel his pain.

Me: Bullshit!

Snake: Yeah, but what you gonna do?

Me: I'll show you what I'm going to do!

(So I grabed my coat jumped on my hog and made my way to Konami)

Me: Hideo, where can I find freak boy?

Hideo: Not this again!

Me: Yes this again, I going to make sure that MGS2 was Raiden last game and the only way to do that is to make sure he takes a long dirtnap!

Hideo: Is this like your crusade against 30 min cutscenes?

Me: Kinda.

Hideo: I give up, here take his address!

Me: Sweet!

(So here it was, me vs. the naked kartwheeling ninja, the final endgame any of those stupid cliches could fit.)

Me:stands at the door with Tommygun in coatHello, anybody in there!

Raiden:comes to door in pink apron Ohh hi Bigger Boss, I was just cleaning, come in, come in.

Me:pulls out Chicago typewriter I don't think so, wuss! fires at point blank range

Raiden:backflips and whips out Katana and blocks the shots

Me: Nice, but that butterknife can't save you now! tosses anti personal grenade into the apartment

(grenade goes off, smoke fills the hallway, I reload)

Me: Well that was easy. Now to go egg Fishers house and it's Miller time!

(Raiden sneakes up behind me but the floor squeaks and I fire a 5 round burst behind my back but he had all ready coldcocked me)

(I wake up on the Big Shell heliport dazed and confused)

Me: What! Where am I!

Raiden:jumps down from Harrier Welcome to Big Shell! Prepare to meet your end, I have rigged this Harrier to fire one rocket at you in 3 minutes, which will give me enough time to escape!

Me: You Bastard!

Raiden: There is no escape!

Me: You forget I am the author, I can do anything I want! whips out notepad writes "add gray fox to save me and give me his HF blade"

(Gray fox slices cable and hands over his HF blade)

Raiden: I thought you were on my side?

Me: Thats the other Ninja Mr.X . Now lets get it on!

(Kickass blade fight ensues I 'm not good at play by plays, lets just say it dosen't end well)

Me:gets HF knocked out of hands Shit!

Raiden:rasies blade Hahaha!

(I do a quick roll dodge and whip out my trusty notepad)

Me:writes in Ocelot giving me a hand

(bullets hits Radien's HF and he drops it)

Ocelot: I am the great Shalashaska, or better known as Revolver

Me/Ocelot: Ocelot!

Ocelot: Why do people keep doing that?

(I shrug, he tosses me his Peacemaker)

(I fire but Raiden backflips and cartwheels avoiding all my shots, then just as I was going to fire my last chamber he knocks me half way across the Heliport )

Raiden: I'm better than Snake ever was hahahah!

(I notices that he standing right behind the Harrier )

Me:doing my best Die Hard impersonation Hey Jack?

Raiden: What?

Me: Jump over the candle stick!

(I fire around into the cockpit which ricochetes and hits both throttles sending a 40 ft. flame out the back, burning Radien and sending him over the edge)

Me: dusting myself off Well that takes care of that.

(I jump in the Harrier and make a triumphant take off, but just as I am about to leave Big Shell airspace Metal Gear Ray surfaces)

Raiden: Hahahahahh cough Ha!

Me: Crap, what does it take to kill you!

Raiden: Nothing can stop me now!

Me: We'll see about that. calls Otacon Hey pal can I ask you one tiny favor?

Otacon: What do you need?

Me: I need you to redirect a nuke to Big Shell to stop Raiden, who's in Ray.

Otacon: spits out coffe What!

Me: Please !

Otacon: No!

Me: Do it or I will burn every last one of you Anime dvd to their basic elements!

Otacon: Ok, but this will take some time.

Me: How much?

Otacon: Five minutes.

Me: Ok, I can hold him off for that long.

( Raiden fires Ray's built-in Stinger missles, I get them to follow me then send them right into Ray. I keep doing this because every boss in evey game has a pattern.)

Otacon: Bigger Boss get out of there!

(I see the nuke on the horizon and high tail it out of there, the blast rips Ray apart as I make my escape, and here I am in the bar about to have a drink. )

Snake: So you're back.

Me: Yep.

(Just then someone enters the bar, you guessed it, Raiden)

Me: What the ?

Raiden: Hey guys, barkeep one nearbeer please!

Me: I give up !

Snake: Take a shot of this, you'll forget all about it.

Me: Thanks.

The End !

Well if you good people could review I'll be all set for a new fic.


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